20 Poor, Poor Souls Who Are Having A Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way, Way Worse Start To 2026 Than You

1.

The person who might want to take up a career in archery:

2.

The person whose house no longer belongs to them:

3.

The person whose hair now has its own private road:

4.

The person with the most delicious phone around:

5.

The person who saw one of the saddest sights a human can see:

6.

The person who likes their fish well-done, clearly;

7.

The person who just became a lifelong enemy of our avian friends:

8.

The person who might want to grab a paper towel:

9.

The person who might want to put that sandwich in some rice:

10.

The person whose washing machine experienced death by a thousand cuts:

11.

The person who had a delicious serving of homemade mold:

12.

The person who loves their family very much, I’m sure:

13.

The person who found some sort of new species inside their bolognese:

14.

The person whose carport could simply take no more:

15.

The person who might want to ask a fortune teller about this omen:

16.

The person who experienced true tragedy:

17.

The person whose neighbor left them a wonderful surprise in their laundry:

18.

The person whose car has been pooped on beyond recognition:

19.

The person whose sweater is neither “sweat” nor “er”: